|
Rod & Sunny: Photo by Bob
Gentry 8/5/1999
A Thought for Today
The world does move, you better learn early to move with it.
SOMETH'NG
for SATURDAY
No reason I can think of for
not having a smile or two on a Saturday and Ralph Jones and Kathy Johnson
help us do just that.
25 SIGNS That Prove - "You've Grown Up"....
1. Your house plants are alive, and you can't smoke
any of them.
2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to
bed.
5. You hear your favorite song on an elevator.
6. You watch the Weather Channel.
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook up
and break up.
14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of
McDonalds leftovers.
15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
16. You no longer take naps from noon to 6 PM.
17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of
the beginning of one.
18. Eating a basket of buffalo wings at 3 AM would
severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.
24. You no longer drink at home to save money before
going to a bar.
25. You read this entire list looking desperately
for one sign that doesn't apply to you.
CAT STUFF
Cat Definition: Aquarium: interactive television for cats
Cat:
1. a lapwarmer with a built-in buzzer.
2. a four footed allergen.
3. a small, four-legged, fur-bearing extortionist.
4. a small, furry lap fungus.
5. a treat-seeking missile.
6. a wildlife control expert.
7. one who sleeps in old, empty pizza boxes.
8. a hair relocation expert.
9. an unprogrammable animal.
Cataclysm: any great upheaval in a cat's life.
Catatonic: a feline medicinal drink.
Caterpillar: a soft scratching post for a cat.
Cat Scan: to look for a new cat.
Dog: a cat's device for running practice.
Door: something a cat always wants to be on the other side of.
Energy: the element of vitality cats always have an oversupply of until
you try to play with them.
Human: an automatic door opener for cats.
Impurrsonate: to act like the cat.
Kitten: a small homicidal muffin on legs; affects human sensibilities to
the point of endowing the most wanton and ruthless acts of destruction
with near-mythical overtones of cuteness. Not recommended for beginners.
Get at least two.
Purrade: an organized march of cats.
Purradise: the garden of Cats.
Purramour: a cat lover.
Purranoia: the fear that your cat is up to something.
Purraphernalia: a cat's personal belongings.
Purrch: any favored feline napping spot.
Purrchase: anything bought for a cat.
Purrfume: the scent of an open can of tuna.
Purrgatory: a houseful of kittens.
Purrmission: a feline hunting expedition.
Purrpetual: everlasting feline love.
Purrplex: a house with two or more cats.
Purrson: a male kitten.
Purrsuit: the garment your shedding cat rubs against just as you are
leaving home to go to an important meeting.
Purrverse: a poem about a wicked kitty.
Tooraloorailurophobia: an irrational fear of Irish cats.
Tuner: sonar-like device in cat food that causes cats to appear.
Yawn: a cat's honest opinion openly expressed.
- Ken, Johannesburg,
November 23
Click on the heart logo to
buy Rod McKuen books, CD's and lots more
Click
on the Stanyan House logo to subscribe to the McKuen Mailing List
Catch Rod McKuen live!
Click on the link below for details.
ROD McKUEN
CONCERTS & APPEARANCES
|
