THIS ONE DOES IT FOR ME! |
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A
Thought for Today
Life is a search for friendship.
Hi Ken,
I've held on writing on this subject for a long while, because, of course, different
Mckuen poems and songs work at different times in different moods. But, at a critical time
in my life, in 1975, one song of Rod's became my friend, my counsellor, my inner voice.
That song was "The Single Man."
I had been in business with my husband, ( though not in any average/normal sense.) We were
on stage together every night - we spent 24 hours of every day together.
Then, quite suddenly though the path had been rocky and I was aware we were taking
separate roads, he was gone. He moved out of my life, our home and our business. I was
conscious for the first time ever of being alone, in the sense of not having another half
of me, not on stage or in my life. And I was only 30 years old.
I had two very young daughters and *our* song was Paul Williams, "You and Me Against
the World". But to them I was Mummy, and my job was to keep reinforcing for them that
their daddy loved them and nothing had really changed. In my heart though, I knew it was a
lie. Dear God I was scared. From 24 hours a day to a sense of total loneliness, isolation.
The first time I heard the words
"I live alone
that hasn't always been
easy to do
for just a single man
Sometimes at night
the walls talk back at me
They seem to say
wasn't yesterday
a better day?"
I cried, no I howled. I must have been heard blocks away. I wallowed in misery and
self-pity and that was okay. Rod's words gave me permission to do that. And those same
words told me "it gets easier... even though there will always be times when you
hurt, you can do it" To paraphrase the Twenty-Third psalm, it was a case of "My
Rod and his stuff comfort me!" *smile*
I must have played that song a thousand times or more in the two years that followed. It
got easier to listen to the words, cry a lot, and accept that I was alone, though I never
did get used to it. Being all of *me* has never appealed to me as much as being one half
of *us*. But once I learned that it's okay to face a life alone and go on, even though you
might not like it, and that it takes a certain kind of courage to say "This is who I
am and I make no apologies for it", it became much easier.
Then I learned to appreciate the song not as an emotionally
empathetic and cathartic experience ( most of Rod's songs are for me, visceral first, I
don't analyse them) but as a truly lovely melody and a haunting and movingly honest lyric.
I no longer live alone, but I still love the song, and I am so glad that it was part of my
life during the darkness of 75-76.
PS ... Interestingly, the song that I then took up as my anthem following The Single Man
was "I'll Catch the Sun" - and it still remains an important part of my life.
Hope you're well Ken and the family is fine. Don't work too hard. Take care.
Coral
Thanks for this contribution, Coral, and Happy
Birthday for yesterday. It never ceases to amaze me just how often Rod's work, be it a
poem or song, has got someone through tough times as you described above. We have to meet
one day, Coral, if only to discuss our mutual love of McKuen, Webb and Williams (sounds
like a law firm!) as the finest songwriters of our generation.
Got a favorite McKuen song or poem? Drop me a line at ken@mckuen.com
and I'll include it right here.
- Ken, Johannesburg, October 13 |
