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Polaroid photo by Edward McKuen, August
2002 ©2002 by Stanyan Music Group. All rights reserved.
A Thought for Today
It’s nice to have someone to look good
for.

SOMETH'NG
for SATURDAY
A LETTER TO JERRY FALWELL
Allan Winans (I misspelled his name on Thursday’s Flight Plan) passed this
on to me with the comment, “A friend sent this to me. Wish I could say I
wrote it.” Me too, Allan, me too.
As most of you know the not so very reverend Falwell often gets his lump
in this space so I’m only too happy to aim this latest slug of coal in his
direction.
WHERE IS JERRY SPRINGER WHEN YOU NEED HIM?
Dear Jerry Falwell,
Thank you for doing so much to educate people
regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try
to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries
to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that
Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination.
I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other
specific laws and how to follow them.
1. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a
pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev. 1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They
claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus
21:7. In this day and age, what to you think would be a fair price for
her?
3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her
period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev. 15:19-24. The problem is, how do
I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offence.
4. Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and
female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of
mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you
clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?
5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2
clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill
him myself?
6. Another friend feels that even though eating shellfish is an
abomination (Lev. 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than
homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?
7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a
defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my
vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?
8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair
around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden in
Lev.19:27. How should they die?
9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me
unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
10. My uncle has a farm. He violated Lev. 19:19 by planting two different
crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two
different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse
and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble
of getting the whole town together to stone them (Lev. 24:10-16)? Couldn't
we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with
people who sleep with their in-laws (Lev. 20:14)?
Best wishes, A true Christian
As Leviticus makes his Exodus in this Christian’s book let’s move on to
other matters.
SOMETHING
WONDERFUL
Here’s the latest update on the Actor’s Fund benefit celebrating the
Richard Rodgers Centenary. As you can see a number of very talented
performers have been added to the cast. I hope to see you there. Again
while I’m also scheduled for my own one man show at Citrus College on the
same Sunday afternoon, thanks to a fast driver I’ll make my 2:PM
performance at Citrus and still be able to do my number in the second half
of “Something Wonderful” at Cal State.
For those of you who want to see both shows I suggest you attend the
Saturday Night performance of “Something Wonderful". Just because I’m dumb
enough to risk life and limb to honor commitments doesn’t mean you have to
follow suit.
SOMETHING WONDERFUL!
Celebrating the Richard Rodgers Centennial
The lyrics of Lorenz Hart & Oscar Hammerstein II
Two Performances Only
Saturday Evening November 9th 2002 • 8PM
Sunday Afternoon November 10th 2002 • 3PM
Starring in alphabetical order:
IAN ABERCROMBIE
• CHRISTINE ANDREAS
• THEODRE BIKEL
• CAROLE COOK • TYNE DALY • NANCY DUSSAULT • MITZI GAYNOR • ESTELLE HARRIS • GREGORY HARRISON
• MARILU HENNER
• MICHAEL JETER
• JANE A. JOHNSTON
• DALE KRISTIEN
• LORENZO LAMAS
• KAREN MASON • MARILYN LOVELL MATZ • ROD MCKUEN • PAMELA MYERS • RITA MORENO • PATRICIA MORRISON
• JACK NOSEWORTHY
• HUGH PANERO • VALARIE PETTIFORD
• STEPHANIE POWERS
• JOHN RAITT
• ALICE RIPLEY • HONEY SANDERS • LESLEY ANN WARREN
JON MAHER, SIGN LANGUAGE INTERPRETER.
Devised & Directed by DAVID GALLIGAN
Produced by SCOTT H. MAURO
Musical Director, GERALD STERNBACH
$50. $75. $100 $150 $250.
Fax Credit Card Orders to 323-933-7615
Or Call 323-933-9266 x54
THE LUCKMAN FINE ARTS COMPLEX
Cal-State Campus • Los Angeles, California
To benefit
The Actor’s Fund of America
See you tomorrow with a flight from the past. Sleep warm.
RM 10/10/2002 7:36 PM PST
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(posted 09/28/2002).
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