FRIDAY
Click
on the Stanyan logo to subscribe to the McKuen Mailing List 
|
|
Rod and Kubby Kat Too.
A Thought for Today
God meant none of us to live without
loving and being loved.
PASS IT
MALONG
The final Friday (and alas the
only one) of the week. Time to clean the E-Mail box and pass along some
goodies still lurking in the dark corners.
STATISTICS
First off, thanks to Scott Savolle, something completely different from
the Middle East. Scott writes:
“This was sent to me from a Palestinian
friend (Jamal)”
THE CONTRIBUTION
The following is based on CIA official statistics:
1. Total World Population: 6.5 Billion.
2. Total Muslims in the world: 2 Billion.
3. Total Smokers in the world: 1.15 billion.
4. Total Muslim smokers in the world: 400 million.
5. Largest Cigarette maker is Phillip Morris.
6. Phillip Morris donates 12% profits to Israel.
7. Total Muslim money to Morris $800 million DAILY.
8. Average profit margin is 10%.
9. Average profit for Morris is $80 million DAILY.
10. Thus $9.6 million of Muslim money goes to Israel every single DAY
.............yes, DAY!!!
HEY STELLA!!!
Brent Braun writes:
“Most of the country has heard of the Darwin Awards
given annually to the individuals who do the most for mankind by removing
themselves from the gene pool.
Now, we have the Stella Awards given to the individuals who win the most
frivolous lawsuits ever. The Stella Awards are named in honor of 81
year-old Stella Liebeck, the woman who won $2.9 million for spilling a cup
of McDonald's coffee on herself.”
THE STELLA AWARDS
The following are candidates for the award:
1. January 2000: Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded $780,000
by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle, tripping over a toddler
who was running amuck inside a furniture store. The owners of the store
were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering that the
misbehaving little fellow was Ms. Robertson's son.
2. June 1998: 19 year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and
medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord.
Mr. Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the
car when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps.
3. October, 1998: Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pa., was leaving a house he
had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the
garage door to go up, because the automatic door opener was
malfunctioning. He couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting
the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on
vacation. Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the garage for eight days.
He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found in the garage and a large bag of
dry dog food. Mr. Dickson sued the homeowner's insurance claiming the
situation caused him undue mental anguish. The jury agreed to the tune of
a half million dollars.
4. October 1999: Jerry Williams of Little Rock. Arkansas was awarded
$14,500 and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his
next-door neighbor's beagle. The dog was on a chain in its owner's
fenced-in yard at the time. Mr. Williams was also in the fenced-in yard.
The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have
been provoked by Mr. Williams who, at the time, was repeatedly shooting it
with a pellet gun.
5. December 1997: A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered
to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pa.,$113,500 after she
slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx. The beverage was on the
floor because Ms. Carson threw it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier
during an argument.
6. December 1997: Kara Walton of Clamont, DE., success-
fully sued the owner of a nightclub when she fell from the bathroom window
to the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms.
Walton was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies room to avoid
paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental
expenses.
SOMETHING FOR SEAN
Nicky Williams writes:
“I know this is silly but it did make me chuckle -
hope you like it too. :o)"
A SHAGGY SEAN TALE
Sean Connery had fallen on hard times. All work has dried up and he just
sat at home twiddling his thumbs. Suddenly the phone ring and Sean answers
it. It's his agent and Sean gets very excited when he discovers the voice
on the other end of the line belongs to his agent.
The agent says, "Sean, I've got a job for you. Starts
tomorrow, but you've got to get there early, for 10ish."
Sean frowns and replies, "Tennish? But I haven't even got a
racket."
If you are entertaining over the weekend, play safely. Sleep warm and I’ll
be back tomorrow with something for Saturday.
RM 4/11/2002
Catch Rod McKuen Live!
MAY
5, 2002 Palm Springs, California
MAY 17, 2002 B.B. King's Blues Club, NYC
MAY
19, 2002 The Birchmere
Theatre, Alexandria, Virginia
|
