11th
& 12th September, 2008
New concerts announced!
Click HERE for details.
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Photo by Jay Hagan,
7/12/08 Burbank, CA
A Thought for Today
No peace is ever perfect, and no war is
ever won.
TO BEGIN WITH
Frustration with self must be the hardest habit to kick. Wonder if
there’s a Pent Up Anonymous I can join?
NOTES ON A LIFE IN PROGRESS
OPTIMISTIC VOICES
Earlier this week I mentioned to a friend that of all the tasks I have
these days, and there are plenty, trying to remain optimistic when so
much around me is falling apart or going to hell, seems to be more
difficult than ever. Considering past practice navigating a raft through
the rapids and ruins ought to take less effort. It doesn’t.
Buoyancy is only part of it, the little yes’s and no’s needing attention
from hour to hour continue to crowd out the time I ought to be awarding
big decisions. Getting on with life is not a problem, just set your
clock and go. But direction, order, which task to take on first with so
many backed up on a mental list, how to get from here to there when
there is constantly on the move is more than distracting and can’t be
settled with a shrug.
As the final journey –– the one from this life to wherever looms closer
there is the fear of too much work left undone, too many filled but
unsorted boxes in the hallway and everywhere and all those drawers and
cubby holes that someone left behind will find it is their legacy to
clean and dump. And, having played my life so close, barely time to do
never mind share, the mess I’ll leave will probably be so confusing to
survivors it will only merit a match and a too quick flame.
Why did I wait so long to try and set priorities and what are priorities
anyway but little soldiers in a row that need to be knocked down one by
one, but in a certain order? As life goes on and on it becomes more
cluttered and contains more clutter. I was never good at clutter. I
don’t sort, file, shred and throw away. All proof of my existence is in
those boxes in the hallway.
Talk of heirs to all this accumulated stuff is only talk, there are
none, so any cleaning up and throwing out will be done by anonymous day
workers (long days for them) probably at minimum wage. What to do with
half finished songs, undecipherable jottings on hotel menus, gifts
received in 1980 but still unopened, untested gadgets bought on whims,
software still in shrink wrap, hardware everywhere the warranty expired
before its use and stuff, stuff, stuff and more forgotten stuff.
Sorry, no twenty dollar bills pressed between the pages of Jane Austin
and Fitzgerald. This sweep and mop job will come with no surprise
rewards. The cash was squandered on all this crap you’re sifting and
shifting through. Stop looking so disgustingly at the enormity of the
task of shuffle and sort, dump a few more cartons without a look. Who’s
to know?
I go on making lists, replete with copious annotations: Master these
LP’s for compact disc, no, those. Complete this batch of still
unfinished songs and move on to the next and please God find someplace
to sell or award the music and record collection to. It is a collection
and shouldn’t be auctioned piecemeal on E-Bay or worse be fodder for yet
a few more landfills. Find out if libraries still accept donated books
(are there libraries left?). What about the thousands of DVD’s and why
did you start yet another collection of inanimate stuff?
Book some mastering and overdub dates and get on with it. Remember to
eat at least one meal today. And. . .
9/10/08 First Publication
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