TUESDAY
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Polaroid photo by Edward McKuen, August
2002 ©2002 by Stanyan Music Group. All rights reserved.
A Thought for Today
Not every wound the wounded carry leaves
a visible scar.
WHEN THE BILL COMES DUE
Bill Gates didn’t become the man he is by being a dummy. Here are some of
Mr. G’s thoughtful observations courtesy of Sheri.
GOOD ADVICE
Sheri writes:
“I love this guy and all he does for charities.
Here’s a speech he recently gave at a high school concerning a few things
life, no school can teach you.”
RULES FOR THE ROAD AHEAD
Rule 1: Life is not fair-- get used to it.
Rule 2: The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect
you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.
Rule 3: You will NOT make forty thousand dollars a year right out of high
school. You won't be a vice president with a car phone, until you earn
both.
Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss. He
doesn't have tenure.
Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents
had a different word for burger flipping-- they called it opportunity.
Rule 6: If you mess up, it is NOT your parents' fault, so don't whine
about your mistakes; learn from them.
Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are
now. They got that way from paying your bills; cleaning your clothes, and
listening to you talk about how cool you are. So, before you save the rain
forest from the parasites of your parents' generation, try delousing the
closet in your own room.
Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life
has not. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades, and they
will give you as many times, as you want to get the right answer. This
does not bear the
slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.
Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off, and
very few employers are interested in helping you find yourself. You have
to do that on your own time.
Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life, people actually have
to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.
Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.
And what would a good bit of advice from Mr. Microsoft with the
accompanying Bill Gates Joke. This one comes from Kayse.
PURGATORY
Bill Gates met God, and God said, "Well, Bill, I'm
really confused on this one. I'm not sure whether to send you to Heaven or
to Hell. After all, you enormously helped society by putting a computer in
almost every home in the world, and yet you created that ghastly Windows.
I'm going to do something I've never done before. I'm going to let you
decide where you want to go."
Bill Gates said, "What's the difference between the two?" God said, "It
might help you decide if you took a peek at both places.
Shall we look at Hell first?" Bill was amazed. He saw a clean, white sandy
beach with clear waters. There were thousands of beautiful men and women
running around, playing in the water, laughing and frolicking about. The
sun was shining and the temperature was perfect.
"This is great!" said Bill. "If this is Hell, I can't wait to see Heaven."
God said, "Let's go!" and off they went to Heaven. Bill saw puffy white
clouds in a beautiful blue sky, with angels drifting about playing harps
and singing. It was nice, but surely not as enticing as Hell. Bill thought
for only a brief moment and rendered his decision, "God, I do believe I
would prefer to go to Hell."
"As you wish," said God. Two weeks later, God decided to check up on the
late billionaire to see how things were going. He found Bill shackled to a
wall, screaming amidst the hot flames in a dark cave. He was being
tortured by demons with pitchforks.
"How ya doin', Bill?" asked God.
Bill responded with anguish and despair, "This is awful! This is not what
I expected at all! What happened to the beach and the beautiful women
playing in the water?"
"Oh, that," said God. "That was the screen saver."
If John Lennon were still with us he’d be turning 62 tomorrow.
Below is a poem I wrote about him in 1981. And speaking of birthdays two
of my Aussie friends are celebrating this week.
Today Jill Bonney turns nineteen never mind and on Saturday Coral Druyn
reaches the ripe young age of none of your business.
Don’t forget to join Webmaster Ken tomorrow for his weekly This One Does
It For Me feature. Sleep warm.
RM 10/7/2002 11:12 PM PST
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(posted 09/28/2002).
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